Insomnia Sucks...

OK... those forbidden dreams that you can't do anything about are starting and yes, I am frustrated. Needless to say, I have been up since 4:30AM and a cold shower is out of the question cause it is too damn cold outside even for my warm blooded self to endure with the heater blasting away...

I did get on line and did a little more Christmas shopping, but I can't help but feel abandoned by old friends. The ones that I had with the previous men in my life... text messages go ignored and so do e-mails... I know that they have lives, but a simple reply text 'k' or 'l8tr' apparently is too much...

then there is this thing with CJ and trying to arrange play dates... nobody returns my calls... My son feels he has not a friend in the world and it breaks my heart... he had quit karate, and hasn't shown much interest in sports... and i am in no condition to take him to the park... rob is taking the role of home maker so that leaves my son with me as a play mate and a computer... and I don't want him to grow up to be some loner psycho who hates the world... his teacher pointed out that he has no patience to help a slower student in class who needs help learning and would rather work by himself cause he can do it faster and be done with it.... so i have raised a nerd snob...yeah go me... but then, i am not the most patient individual in the world either...it takes less time for me to do it right than to explain how to do it...

i think it is time to introduce CJ to role playing games... that way he can get out of himself and into a different reality for a bit...he is already a avid reader and devourers books... so maybe this is a step in the right direction for a six year old... I just hope he learns patience to deal with Charles...

now my issues with Christmas... that secret Santa crap... everybody is getting something... so i don't even know why i took a name.... i guess the person that got the name gets two presents or just something extra special... i don't know... the budget is suffering HARD.... well, make that SUPER HARD... I normally get something for myself since my family normally neglects me EVERY year.... and I don't see that changing any time in the near future... I had my eye on this hot little number for the Renaissance fest, but i am sacrificing for the sake of the season... I also refuse to get an IPhone until you can send photos and videos via text messages... sorry, it is a personal thing... so if rob even mentions it... shoot him...

Things are beginning to look up on the child support frontier... and I will keep you informed...well... i am going to peruse the net... ttfn...